Skin and Bones
by MultiGlory13
Summary: This is my first song fanfic of the song Skin & Bones by Marianas Trench. Enjoy! R&R. I can't do this anymore. The past few weeks have been a living hell for me. Why did I deserve to live? God, I'm so useless.


**A/N: I decided to do a Queer as Folk one shot, enjoy! Thank you for reading! Please review and don't forget to follow me! :D**

_I lock the door_  
_Turn all the water on_  
_And bury that sound_

I locked the bathroom door, turning the light on and opening the toilet seat, wretching my guts out. The past few weeks have been very depressing for me as I couldn't do anything in life, rather than taking control of what I'm good at. Purging.

Once that was done, I had tears in my eyes, sobbing so much. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All I feel is numbness and sorrow. I stared at my entire body, noticing how thin I look. **You disgust me. **I said to myself as I resumed vomiting. I don't care if I die. Nobody will miss me. It's my body and I can do whatever I want.

_So no one hears anything anymore_  
_Mirror lie to me, tell me you can see_  
_Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now_

So you're probably wondering to yourself, **Brian, if you're vomiting a lot, does that mean you have an illness that we don't know about? **Why yes, yes I do. I don't want admit it, but I do have an illness that nobody knows about. In fact, I'd like to keep it that way. I don't care what anyone will say. It's really none of your concern and I don't care.

_I know you can feel all the things you steal_  
_And you're taking, you're taking it_  
_Feeling so easy_  
_Make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_You break like it's even_  
_When you're leaving it thin,_  
_Where the hell have you been?_

I was vomiting more and more, knowing this is the only pain I can control and nothing else. I don't want to be eating anymore. I just want to vomit and that's it. If anyone sees me doing this, they'll send me to rehab or take me to counseling. And I sure as hell don't want that.

_Well, sometimes it burns_  
_Maybe I'll wash it out_  
_It all looks so big_  
_Never mind, I don't feel anything_

"Brian? Is that you?" Justin knocked the door. **Shit. **I said to myself, flushing the toilet. I brushed my teeth and wiped my mouth, removing that bile taste from my mouth.

_It only hurt a bit_  
_I still feel like shit_  
_And I think you won't be able to recognize me now_  
_It's easier to quit_  
_It's harder to admit_  
_And you're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me!_

"Heyyyy, Justin. How's my sweetest boyfriend in the world doing?" I said with a fake smile, kissing his lips.

"Brian, were you throwing up?" He asked.

"No! I would never do that. That's for girls." I lied, laughing at my joke. Justin laughed a little bit, unsure how to respond.

_Feeling so easy_  
_Make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break me like it's even_  
_When you're leaving it thin,_  
_Where the hell have you been?_

We went to Babylon, meeting up with our friends, Michael, Ted and Emmett. As we were dancing, I felt dizzy and my vision was blurring.

"Brian, are you okay?" Michael asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah. It's just the flu." I told him, which wasn't true. I ran to the bathroom, went straight to the stalls and vomited again. Once that was finished, I stared at myself. **You're a gross piece of shit. **I said to myself, placing a mint candy onto my mouth.

_Cause you always win_  
_And you... yeah!_  
_Laughin' like it works_  
_Bleeding like it don't hurt_  
_Knock you off your feet_  
_Even if you need me_  
_Tear you apart and I hate how I need you_

As I was walking back, I collapsed onto the floor, shutting my eyes. They say people go to heaven and I always thought they were kidding. But I guess I do deserve to die.

"Guys, Brian isn't responding!" Emmett shouted, tears on his eyes. Michael called 911 and Justin was holding my hand, stroking my hair. Ted was waiting for the ambulance to get here.

_Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break me like it's even_  
_When you're leaving it_

"Come on, Brian. Stay with us." Justin said, holding my hand tighter. The ambulance got here and Ted explained to the paramedics what happened.  
When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.

"Wh-what happened?" I said, everything still fuzzy but not like before.

_Too fucking easy, make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break me like it's even_  
_When you're leaving it thin,_  
_Where the hell have you been?_

"Brian, what were you thinking?" Michael exclaimed, wiping his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I asked, confused.

"You were starving yourself for 5 weeks and almost died." He sobbed. Emmett was crying as well while Ted and Justin confronted them.

"No, I wasn't. It's the flu. Honestly." I denied the truth.

"Brian, you do realize you are bulimic? In other words, you have an eating disorder." A doctor told me.

"I thought women have them?" I didn't quite get what he meant.

"All genders can have an eating disorder. You were lucky that you didn't cause any more serious damage than you have." She told me.

"No. This cannot be happening. Justin, tell the doctor that it's not true." I held his hand. Justin nodded, believing that I do have an eating disorder and I began to cry.

As I started going to counseling for my eating disorder, each day I would get more and more better. Justin made sure to get me eating and not relapse. I was trying to eat again and every day, it felt good. I wasn't as depressed anymore and I was taking anti depressants to cure my depression. One day, I decided to propose to Brian and he said yes to marrying me. We got married about a year later, feeling so much happier than before. Even I was feeling happy and nothing will change that.

_You always win,_  
_And you always_  
_And you always_  
_I will burn all this ___[9x]__


End file.
